what up I'm jared I'm 19
hello I am twiggy !!
I'm an aspiring forest mage who loves writing, cats, music, video games, books, punctuation, magic, manga, stationery, pens, colored ink, and the outdoors.
remember, the roses on the lawn don't know which side you're on.
since I had a lot to say today I might as well say it all!
hello my friends!! its update time from me, ur friendly neighborhood twig :'^)
first of all: korea is a really, really cool place! I've been enjoying my time here thoroughly so far and I'm trying very hard to make full use of the time that has been given to me here. I'm trying to learn a lot every day; hopefully I can keep my pace for the next month. I've been missing some people and places back home - the time difference can make it easy to go days without talking to a lot of my friends, and my cat.......where is the light of my life...........i miss her w/ every minute
I would honestly move back here for at least a few years. what a wonderful country, and so green?! wow!! also the food here rocks !!! so delicious.. seaweed is such a good snacc and its so easy to get here I love it..
I've been really good about journaling every day lately, putting down the objectively important / small but subjectively memorable events and thoughts with a consistency that makes me proud of myself..I have envelopes, and stationery for letters too, so if anyone would like a letter I'd be happy to send you one..? if you're in the us I'll probably wait on sending them until I get home but guys letters bring a pure joy into my life pls let me write to you they'll be super banal and probably about the weather but. this offer kind of always exists honestly if you ask for one and don't explicitly ask me to stop or say you've moved I'll probably just send one to you every couple of months lmao.. I love sending letters but don't have enough people to send them to! :')
along with journaling, I've been trying to actively change the way that I think about and approach writing, journals or otherwise. a lot of what jeff vandermeer (u guys know him by now..my fav) has written about the act and process of writing has been really helpful to me, and I've been consciously focusing on a lot of what he's talked about. rewarding my subconscious, //thinking/ about my writing, etc. cheers to that! I'll continue to try to better myself, though I tend to get kind of discouraged when I don't see results as quickly as I'd like to. I need to remind myself that changes may be imperceptible to me but apparent to the outside observer... we're just gonna do our best! there's a lot of things that I've wanted to write about but haven't really, out of procrastination, lack of confidence, what have you. I hope to get through those obstacles soon for at least some of the subjects, hopefully even while I'm here in korea.
I've been listening to a lot of podcasts here especially, as we walk quite a ways per day and even I can run out of music to listen to repeatedly lmao. sam harris, lots of npr, and fiction podcasts have been keeping me going! if anyone has any recommendations, feel free to drop them to me!!
guys, I don't know when the last time I updated u about my social life was but.... a lot has happened over the past year. its been really, really hard at times and wonderful at others - I've lost someone I thought would always be beside me, and hurt them tremendously. I dream about my regret often. its an obliterating shame that I'm not quite sure how to handle yet, and so I've packed it tightly away, but it escapes me sometimes.. :') ah well. as you sow so shall you reap. it is my eternal hope that one day, we can be together once more, even if the same capacity of closeness that we enjoyed is impossible to recapture.
I've also regained someone so special, who I thought wouldn't ever come back to me! his name is thomas. I love him with an intensity that startles me. our history is complicated and kind of messed up but we've made each other strong and I am pathetically happy to be beside him once more.
outside of those two central figures in my life, I've confidently cemented some friendships I know will sustain into college from high school. I'm glad to have at least two friends who I know will stand by me, regardless of the trial. they've been stability for me when everyone and everything else has seemed to fracture.
I am struck, often, by how little I know, even about the things I claim to have true passion for. I need to work harder. it'll be a long month left here, but I hope to come back home a much evolved person than who I was when I left.
I'd like to go back to vermont in august..I think about it there very often. I also plan on joining the outdoors club at my college when I arrive there :') guys, I just really love it outside. I'm glad that I've been able to enjoy it recently like I have. in thomas' backyard, they have a hammock strung up between two trees. I miss that hammock with a physical ache and the shadows of the canopy over it
overall, I'm doing just fine. I hope you all can say the same - tell me how you're doing! I love to talk to you guys..
this has been a check-in!