Ascending the Mojoclimb
TWO THINGS TO NOTE: Mojoclimb = Escheladder, and I haven't actually become any cooler. I just like to tell myself that.
So... it's been a long time since I wrote a journal entry, and though you probably want nothing to do with my life, you've chosen to read it anyway! If you've known me for a while, or have read past journal entries of mine (which I should probably get to deleting), I'm a terribly-hopeless romantic. I used to be head-over-heels for this girl who lives in Africa, where she is still living today, but I moved on because I saw that it wouldn't, nay, COULDN'T work out. Over the course of three months (August - October), I meditated on my life, immersed myself in music, and paid attention to school to distract myself from romance. (I don't even like calling my feelings "romance", because it implies mutual feelings between two people that culminate in love... that was/is not the case in my situation.)
In November, I took a great liking to one of my friends: a girl I had met when I first came to the church I currently attend, and have been friends with for almost seven years. This liking continued for another three months until the fateful February 3rd, Super Bowl Sunday. It just so happens that I was invited to this girl's house to watch the game, her family and mine, and it was ALSO the night when I had worked up the courage to confess my feelings... in a non-awkward way of course. I mean, I had never done this face-to-face before, but I think I came off pretty well. After the confession of my "like" to this girl, she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, either because we were such good friends or still too young. Oh well, I thought, I'm still okay. I mean, it has to count for something that I told her, respected her request, and held my peace, right?
Those were all true, in a way. Her parents love me because of that gentlemanly behavior (#likeasir), but it didn't have the same effect on her. I didn't have much of an expectation for a relationship after our talk, but I didn't quite lose hope either, until last Wednesday... at youth group, where hormones flare and cross-gender interaction is highly encouraged. She broke the news to me that she (15 years old) was beginning a relationship with another friend of mine (almost 18 years old), an incredibly risky move, considering her parents don't approve and the schooling/age gap is fairly great for this stage of life. Still, I remained in my happiness stasis and promised to help her out in any way possible (not telling people the relationship is a thing, giving her space, helping guide her through these treacherous waters).
I was, no lie, totally fine with this. I was strangely at peace with this decision and, though I was somewhere inside, I continued to put on a straight face. About three days after this "second talk", the realization finally caught up to me. I will not get my chance with this girl, because she didn't actually have plans to give me a chance in the first place. It, in that strange teenager-y way, pummeled my heart into a fine dust and left me really depressed. I see the girl at least three times a week, so it was hard to suppress these disappointments, and they haunted me the whole rest of the week... until my mother offered me some sage advice. She, in summary, told me to look to the future, where I'd be mature and independent enough to find a perfect partner in life. Who you will marry is the single most important decision you will ever make, she said, and if this girl doesn't think you are that important one, then you shouldn't, either.
Now we are in the present, March 19th in the Year of Our Lord 2013. I've gotten over my crush on this girl, and I'm moving onto a state of romantic nothingness. I'm going over to the Darklite Side and becoming a bachelor. I will henceforth continue to be a chipper lad, as Popecool says often of me, and the most optimistic person on Route 50, distancing myself from trivial crushes until I find someone I really, truly love. It will take a long time to find that "one", but hey! That gives me time to happy again, and to continue ascending my Mojoclimb.
~ FIN ~
Wait! Before the journal goes into hibernation for another three months, I should probably update musyyk majyyks. First, I'm in a band with Pope and two other IRL friends (it's a lineup of guitar-bass-synthesizer-drums) whose name is still to be decided. If you have any suggestions, please do give me them. So far, Pope's come up with some good ones, but if you can top That Mysterious Flame, Eldritch Vines, or Electric Rain, be my guest. Second, I've become something of a music snob due to watching egregious amounts of [url: http://www.youtube.com/user/theneedledrop?feature=g-high-u]THE NEEDLE DROP[/url]! I mean, I've always been something of a pretentious music nerd, but now I've really tried to fill that mold: I started a project with some friends that has us sharing albums with each other, writing reviews of said albums, and generally expanding our music horizons. It's all very rad.
Finally... have a great day/week/month! Stay awesome, oh, and do tell me some bands you love that don't get a lot of coverage. Mine to recommend to you all would be Beach Fossils or What Made Milwaukee Famous. Definitely great bands.
Peace out! //fwoosh