I WAS SUPPOSED TO WRITE THIS over A MONTH AGO,
its been an absolute minute i have stuff i have needed to say that i have been too lazy/busy to write (ive actually been writing this on and off for like 2 months now) hooooooo
c o n c e r t o s
so this is probably gonna be my last journal before i set off. i worked at Bagel Shop but my boss was a huge bitch so i left and now i work at a gas station operating a series of microwaves. for about a month i had both those jobs, so i worked about 70 hours a week. do not do this. though Bagel Shop paid me much more, i still make more money at gas station because i get 40hrs and i can get as much overtime as i want, they dont care at all.
i have money, but i like buying things, so i dont have as much money as id like.
one of the things i bought, is this boy who sounds delicious and i love him. i love this bass. so much. i will bring it with me when i depart.
my itinerary has been changed a bit, now it is;
aug 27-30 dublin
aug 31-sept 4 galway
sep 5-8 edinburgh
sep 9-12 glasgow
sep 13-16 cardiff
sep 17-24 london
sep 25-oct 2 zagreb
ive got the initial plane ticket and all accommodations booked and paid for but beyond that, not so much. like i said im lacking in money a bit. idk how long i can keep travelling up before i will probably have to return home with my tail between my legs.
i would love to go somewhere and not come back but thats a bit difficult.
either way i m u s t live in another country because i hate this one yeah.
one thing i could do is get citizenship pretty easily if i wanted to in croatia, due to my heritage. i will maybe look into doing that when im in zagreb idk yet.
but i dont know what to do for college and stuff. idk what i want to do, i could think of a few things, but i would love to study music, preferably somewhere in the u.k. but its shitty cause its like u gotta know soooo much stuff just to audition. im going to school so u can TEACH me these things damn. im worried ill have to go back home and to the local community college and take classes, i really dont want to.
at least bass is kinda working for me. i can feel my progress and actively work towards it. i always have a hunger to play. i need to rely on this. id truly like to be on a stage playing the bass in a band. i always have a thing i write ideas in. i dont write songs tho i open a new page and just cringe into the nether before i can write any lyrics down. i also dont sing because people would hear me. i dont know i have many big ideas for what id like to be relating to music.
also all my friends stopped talking to me i try to start conversations in our group chat but they dont respond anymore so yeah. lonely. i cant remember if i did anything wrong, i dont think i did, i would remember if i did.
i dont know anything really, except that i want to study and live abroad. and play the bass in a Band. all i do these days is work and play bass and stress out a lot. im tired now goodbye