Bullying

Pls no bully

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February 12, 2017 4:54pm
One of my friends says that "It's not bullying if they don't know about it". At first thought, sounds very dumb, makes absolutely no sense. Bullying is bullying... right?
What if you treat someone nicely, but you actually don't like them (but they don't know about it) and you 'talk s***' about them to a wall? Most likely considered venting. Generally considered OK. Now what if you do that, but with another person, but they still don't know and you both treat them kindly, invite them to parties anyway etc. Is it still bullying?
I don't know. Thoughts?
Also don't bully people ty
February 12, 2017 5:23pm
That depends on why you talk to the other person. If you're talking about Person A to get stuff off your chest about Person B, well, that's just venting. In this situation, you just want someone (Person A) to acknowledge your dislike of Person B. And while it's certainly not wise to keep putting on a facade to Person B, it's not necessarily "bullying".

But if you're talking to Person A about Person B with some deliberate, harmful intent towards friend B, then that's talking behind someone's back. It becomes bullying because you're not just trying to get Person A to acknowledge your dislike of Person B, you're trying to get Person A to treat Person B badly.
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

CaRSP aRiEWoVLotE
February 12, 2017 5:46pm
I've thought about this a lot. The way I see it, if you're holding angry feelings about another person it means you have a problem with them and there are three options for it: you could hold inside, which will lead to the need to vent or talk about it behind that persons back; you could discuss with them and see if it's something they would be willing to change; or, if it's a small enough issue, let it go. Most people normally take the first option.
Let me tell you, the worst feeling a person can get is when someone they admire, or even just someone they can hang around is talking bad about them behind their back. If they figure out about it they'll lose trust in just about everything; it's pretty much the number 1 cause of suicide. And believe me, it's nearly impossible for them not to figure it out. People who've never met the person will know all of their flaws and none of the good things about them, because that's all that they'll listen to, and the person will eventually figure out why.
As for the people who were told about them, they'll only know their flaws, so any chance of them actually meeting this person without an already existing negative opinion is completely gone, so they never get the chance to make a good first impression.
as for telling no one and just venting to yourself, you get better at what you practice, and that's practicing seeing the negative in people. If you do that you'll always only see the bad in people.

People are flawed, and they'll always make mistakes, or even have serious personality issues, but I haven't met a single person who didn't have overwhelming positives about them that completely outshine the negatives. It's always damaging to nitpick the bad in someone, and it will always lead to other people nitpicking the bad in you. It's just not worth it to start, for everyone's sake <=3

Sorry about the essay, this is something I feel pretty strongly about
February 12, 2017 8:03pm
I would like to clarify that I don't agree with the viewpoint I wrote, just wanted discussion.
What if there was one person that everyone in the world hated, but they are treated normally and they never ever know and figure outthat people dislike them? Absolutely no harm is done, as no one is changing anyone's opinion on them, and the person isn't suffering because of everyone's hate for them since no one is taking action on it.
February 12, 2017 8:40pm
Well bullying is when someone purposefully mistreats or belittles someone. If you're just telling someone that you don't like something about someone else, all you're doing is expressing an opinion. Which is fair enough, you don't have to like everyone or everything about someone, you have a right to your feelings.

When you have a negative opinion of someone, but don't take any action with unkind intent towards them, you're not bullying.
"Roots starve in gravel, but the dust staves your hunger;
it works its way under your nails and laces itself in your bones.
the stars that watch over you now are strangers - but with time you'll know them, and they you, and
they'll take the compass in your breast pocket
and point it home." - Twiggy, Secret Series
February 13, 2017 5:59am
I gotcha, i didn't think you did ^^
I'm sure that person would want to know if there was something that wrong about them.
And if i were in that scenario as one of the onlookers, how would i know that everyone didn't feel the same way about me? I would be pretty paranoid, i couldn't trust anyone because they could hate me without telling me just like that other person.
If someone talks badly about someone behind their back, chances are they'll do the same to you

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