Mae held out the pap...

A followup to typh's granblue crack fic

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May 14, 2018 10:23pm
Corow's Revenge: Part 4

The crew had regrouped at a rendezvous point in Albion, awaiting intel on Corow.

"It all started with Xeno Ifrit's awakening last February," said Sierokarte, counting the collected fans. "The Foe's machinations caused Ifrit to go on a rampage on a small island in Valtz."

Mae looked at her flamescythe.

"After Ifrit was suppressed, his minions faced judgement at Vohu Manah's temple on Ravi," said Siero. "But the monsters were pardoned, so a call went out for skyfarers to raid it."

Xeta looked at her judgement lyre.

"Alarmed by a possible alliance between Ifrit and Vohu, Sagittarius began patrolling the islands betwen Auguste and Eingana," said Siero. " He started attacking monsters and humans alike, so the authorities put out a call."

Spark looked at his flashspear.

"In turn, Sagi's defeat caused Cocytus to awaken," said Siero. "Naturally, agents from Mizarea launched an operation to suppress it."

Rai looked at her dreamstaff.

"All these conflicts drew the attention of Diablo, who recorded battle data on skyfarers, monsters, and primals in the Jaus Codex," said Siero. "To finjsh his survey, he continued the conflicts where the others left off."

Xeta and Rai looked at their phantom blades.

"But Diablo ian't the only one who's been watching and waiting," said Siero, beaming. "Isn't there one other primal who regularly clashes with skyfarers?"

"Corow," said Rai. "So when Typh provoked Corow into a war..."

"Diablo might've seen these battles as a chance for data, but Corow would probably see them as part of one long conflict," said Xeta. "Either way, thanks to Typh, we're still at war with Corow."

"Taify, what have you done?" said Mae, pointing at the cardboard cutout.

Continued in Part 5
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:24pm
"This was Lucifer's favorite coffee" muttered Sandalaphon bitterly. Spark burst into tears
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:24pm
The crew had returned to Zinkenstill.

"Hey hey, dancho, let's bring this guy along! He's great!" said Io, dragging along SalmonEater, another neighbor of Mae's.

"I agree," said Melissabelle, wrapping her hair around SalmonEater's other wrist.

"Who this?" asked Al.

"Hi," said SalmonEater, trying to pull away unsuccessfully. "I'm Jon's neighbor, not-Jon. Please get these lolis off me."

"I bet he'll be a great addition to the crew, so let's get him back to the ship, hayaku hayaku!" cheered Io.

"Hang on," said Mae. "You already set to go?"

"I'm ready," said SalmonEater. "Not like Jon who forgot his toothbrush."

"Shut up Jeffrey," said Zykron. "Wait, we're not really letting him in, are we?"

"Why not?" said Mae, flashing a grin. "I bet you miss him, don't you?"

"Hell no!" snapped Zykron.

"Must be having a hangover again," said SalmonEater. "Nothing new then."

"No! I didn't have that much to drink last night!" said Zykron. "Fuck, now I'm thirsty."

Meanwhile off to the side, Lunalu was having a nosebleed.

SalmonEater has joined your crew! This character has been added to the journal.
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:25pm
Corow's Revenge: Part 5

A glowing tower rose up from the center of the ancient battlefield. Angel Halo Valley, the place where Corow's war first began.

Ark gripped the Grandcypher's rail firmly, as if holding a lover. He glanced at Avilin as they landed. "You ready?"

"Hell yeah," said Al.

Fire burst up from the ground as Xeno Ifrit appeared, causing nearby angel cores to flee. "I'll hunt you down and strangle you till your eyes pop out!" snarled Rai, twirling her dreamstaff and lunging at Ifrit.

They continued to the tower, kicking autonamatons out of the way. A flash of thunder, and Xeno Vohu Manah appeared. "Foxus are above the law! Hyaaaah!" yelled Spark, charging up his flashspear and flying at Xeno Vohu.

They ran inside the tower to encounter Xeno Cocytus. "Time to punch the icy skellyman," said Xeta, strumming her judgement lyre and sliding toward Xeno Cocy.

The others hurried up the stairs. A blast of wind tore open the wall as Xeno Sagittarius galloped toward them. "Okay, horse man, let's do this," said Maestra, brandishing her flamescythe.

On the top floor waited Xeno Diablo, eyes gleaming. "Don't worry, I got this," said Kou, her lumi swords floating arund her in a circle. "You guys go after Corow!"

...

Ark, Al, and Zykron reached the spire. Overhead, Corow was sitting on her torch reactor again.

"Soiya!" shouted Al, slashing with Parazonium repeatedly.

"Soiya!" shouted Ark and Zykron, lunging at Corow with Disparias raised.

Reaching into the torch reactor, she withdrew a brilliant, blazing sword. As the three lunger at her, Corow swung her sword wide, bombarding them with plain damage.

Corow snapped her fingers, and a great shadow began to cover the sun. "It doesn't matter how many times you tear us down," said the empress. "Nightmare 120 will always be waiting behind you!"

Down below, Rai's eyes widened as a cloaked figure passed her. "Not MSH...!?"

Concluded in part 6
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:25pm
Mae stabbed Macula repeatedly with her rose crystal spear. "Gimme fists!"

"Only for you," said Rai, jamming Yggy swords into Macula's face.

Spark poked Macula with Reunion. "Kon?"

Flash freeze! Xeta sighed as Macula turned them all into popsicles. "gj foxu"
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:26pm
Corow's Revenge: Part 6

Avilin stared up at Corow, covered in blood. Next to him, Orchid was clutching her chest. Overhead, the eclipse was complete.

At that moment, they heard footsteps. Ark stared as the cloaked figure who saved them before came running onto the roof. "Huh...?"

"More interference? How annoying," said Xeno Corow, raising her sword again. "My empire will not be denied!"

"Heh. I'll just burn your empire to nothing and make you choke on the ashes."

Shocked, Corow spun around as the figure lunged forward. A golden, gem-studded fist caught her sword in mid-slash, the blade's overwhelming aura throwing back the boy's hood.

"Hi there," said Typh, yanking Corow's sword out of her hand and tossing it aside. "I was in your blind spot."

"You!" seethed Corow, her voice filled with rage. "You, of all people..."

Grabbing Corow by the wrist, Typh pulled her into a punch to the face. "It doesn't matter what you build up," said Typh, tossing her aside and smiling cruelly. "We'll tear it down every time."

Dark power filled the gems of his Six-Ruin Fist as he pulled his hand back. "I've found it. More stronk than I could ever hope for. Realmic Convergence!"

He smashed his fist into the torch reactor, obliterating it in a single blow. The world shuddered. Overhead, the eclipse dissipated harmlessly, the sun's rays returning.

Xeno Corow sank to her knees, her crown falling to the floor. Screaming, she vanished in a flash of light.

...

"Hey Typh," said Al as he and Orchid helped each other up. "It's been a while." He bent down to pick up Corow's sword.

"I guess so," said Typh. "I'll be off again, then."

"Sen still sends us letters, asking how you're doing," said Ark as Typh walked away. "Typh?"

Pausing, Typh turned to face Ark. "Hm? Who's Sen...?

Corow's Revenge: The End
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:26pm
Somehow, the cast of Detective Conan ended up in the world of Granblue.

"What're you talking about? This is a VR game!" insisted Ran, kickijg one of Daniela's mannequins. "Right?"

"Yeah, a game with very realistic graphics," said Conan, pointing at Jon. "Look, that guy's skin is tinged blue like he's drunk!"

"Wow, even kids can tell," said SalmonEater.

"Shaddup," said Jon, punching a mannequin with shoes on his hands.

At that moment, a giant stone lion with a gatling gun busted through the wall. "Oh no! A huge golem!"

Mirin poked the gatling lion with her sword and it died.
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:26pm
The crew had returned to the Astral battlefield for another Unite and Fight.

Maestra stared as Rai dragged a massive mountain of raw meat onto the deck. "Very thirst, such carnivorous."

"Rawr," said Rai, fingers spread like claws.

Mae massaged her forehead, "Sandals, get me some coffee," mumbled Mae.

"Get it yourself, singularity," said Sandalaphon as he brought Mae coffee.

Humming, Rai started swimming around in the meat pile.

...

Out in the field, Spark fired his tia guns pew pew.

"Foxu, let's go punch a Typh," said Xeta. "...on"

"I'm up for smakking Typh," chimed in Al. "...on"

"Okay! Let's hunt ourselves a Typh," said Spark. "...on"

Somewhere in the distance, if they held very still, they thought they could hear someone scream, "I'M NOT A LOLICON..."
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:27pm
Spark played the Nine-Realm Harp with his tails while Mae sharpened the Seven Star Sword

"Are you a bully?" said Niyon, activating her d20 shield.

"No," said Spark.

"No," said Seofon.

"They're both lying," said Mae. A little pile of salt was forming at her feet.

"Let's have a duet sometime, Spark," said Niyon.

...

"Hello Spark," said Niyon, activating her d20 shield. "Let's fight. Roll for initiative."

"Wait, I thought we were doing a duet," said Spark.

"Duet, duel, same thing," said Niyon. "Roll for initiative."

"But I didn't come prepared for a fight," said Spark.

"Too late," said Niyon. "Roll for initiative."

Clarisse's eyes lit up. "Don't worry, Spark, I'll blow up her defenses in a flash! Dokkan!"

...

"Aw, I really wanted to help out," pouted Clarisse as Yuisis and Spark disarmed Niyon.

"Foxes have lovely melodies," said Niyon softly, lowering her d20 shield.

"No they don't," said Herja. "They're shrill and high pitched when they scream."

Niyon smiled. "You may call on my services at any time, Spark."

...

A few days later, Spark woke up to find Yuisis, Lecia, Clarisse, Herja, Lennah, and Niyon grooming his tails. "Now just one moment, how did it come to this!"
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:28pm
Edgelord Returns: Part 1

Feower dangled the gangster over the roof's edge by a rope. "So, did you enjoy it? Selling drugs to kids?" hissed Feower, holdingup the Four Sky Blade as the man flailed and screamed. "I wonder far your guts will splatter if you fall from here--"

"I didn't enjoy it!" screamed the man. "It was the boss's orders." Desperately, he reached toward Feower. "Please..."

Feower grabbed the gangster's wrist and cut off his pinky. "Oh yeah,you haven't eaten, have you?" snarled Feower as the man howled. "How about I chop off your fingers and feed them to you, one by one?"

At that moment, a bullet pierced the gangster's skull, killing him instantly. Feower looked down to see an Erune running toward a cart loaded with MSH crates. "Go!" shouted the Erune, pointing at at the driver. Nodding, Typh cracked the reins, and the cart drove off.

In the distance, Rai lowered her telescope. "Found you, you damn golddigger...!"

Continued in Part 2
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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May 14, 2018 10:28pm
Edgelord Returns: Part 2

An emergency meeting was taking place in a secret warehouse.

"He's becoming a serious impediment to operations," said one.

"We gotta bump him off," said another. "But how?

"Ooh, ooh! What if we throw a zoi at him?" said Typh eagerly.

"No," said the gang leader. "We'll report this to the higher ups."

Suddenly, a bloody messenger ran into the room. "He's here! Ugh..." He promptly fell over, revealing a knife in the back of his head.

"Tch." The leader stood up and pointed at Typh. "You, hold him off. The rest of you, scatter!"

...

A few deft swipes of Feower's knives, and the warehouse doors fell open. Screaming, Feower charged inside,cutting down thugs, one after another."Stabbity stab! I'll knife all your pathetic faces!"

Donning his Six-Ruin Fist, Typh watched Feower from behind a crate. Then, he froze. Massive icicles suddenly burst all around the warehouse, gouging giant holes in the walls.

"Feower!" shouted Rai, running inside with dreamstaff in hand. A thug on the floor reached for her ankle but she crushed his hand with her boot.

"Hi," said Feower. "How's Tien? Is she okay? I heard she's still watching over the kids. It must be hard for her to balance that with Eternals work and traveling with you guys. I wonder if she has enough sewing supplies? Wow, I miss my sister."

Rai slowly walked up to Feower, shaking with fury. "Why did you vanish like that?" said Rai bitterly. "You... didn't even leave a note..."

A long silence.

"I heard Tien got her gun fixed at Cucouroux's dad's shop recently," said Feower. Rai screamed.

Continued in Part 3
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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June 6, 2018 10:00pm
"Hey Jon! Let's fighting!!" said Threo eagerly.

"Jon's gonna die," muttered Xeta.

"Sure!" Zykron reached for his sword, only to realize he was only carrying a neko punch. "Oh damn, not yet. Lemme go get ready

"Nope!1-2-3 no takebacksies," said Threo, raising her axe. "Oh yeah, I'm stupid, so I might not notice if you're unconscious and keep attacking. Let me know if I knock you out, okay?"

"Okay!" said Jon, equipping his neko punch. Mae groaned.

...

Somehow, Jon maanaged to throw down Threo, coughing. "My throat's all dry," croaked Jon. "Naru, please get me a beer!"

"Yes! Onee-san has a beer for you!" said Narmaya, pulling out a beer from between her boobs.

Threo sat up. "Oh yeah? Well I can do that too!" She pulled out an even bigger beer from between her boobs.
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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June 11, 2018 11:32pm
Edgelord Returns: Part 4

Screaming, Feower kicked Anre to the floor. "Fool! This is meaningless unless you defeat all of the other Eternals," said Anre.

Rai froze. "Wait, what?"

"Yes! I will faster, and stronger too!" shouted Feower.

"Hold it! What happened to destroying the mafia?" said Rai. "Don't tell me you got distracted already...!"

Feower ignored Rai. "I will become the ultimate!" scremed Feower. He traced a sigil with the Four Sky Blade, releasing a pulse of energy that cracked the walls.

With growing horror, Rai stared as Feower ran off. She looked back at Anre. "What have you done?" she breathed. "Four-kun... no!"

Pulling Anre to his feet, Rai grabbed her dreamstaff and ran outside.

"Wait!! don't leave me like thiiiis!" yelled Typh on the floor as the warehouse began to collapse.

Continued in Part 5
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

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June 11, 2018 11:32pm
The crew had arrived at Albion to watch the Grandsky Rumble.

Wearing a bodystocking and a mask, Rai suplexed her opponent into a trash can, screaming. All around the stands, Al-Khalid's men held up large "booing" signs.

"Totes not Rai," said Mae, pointing down at the masked Rai. "but oh so kakkoi"

"Isn't Rai cold in just that?" said Xeta.

"I wonder what Rai's after," said Spark, munching on potato chips. Mae grabbed the potato chip bag away from him.

Reporters were crowding around Rai. "Masked Cypher, congrats on this round! We have some questions for you," said a reporter.

"Uhh sure," said Rai.

"here's a very important one," said another reporter. "ri what's hotstar"
You do seem to know what is needed. Yes, what a Trainer needs is a virtuous heart. Pokémon touch the good hearts of Trainers and learn good from wrong. They touch the good hearts of Trainers and grow strong... Go onwards! The Champion is waiting!
- Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four

CaRSP aRiEWoVLotE
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