The Evolving Fortress

Fun little forum game I found

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June 21, 2017 10:02pm
Okay so here's the idea. You're trapped at the bottom of an infinitely tall fortress. Or perhaps you're trying to break into the infinitely tall fortress. In order to do either of those things, you need to get past a door. After you do, you ascend to the next level, only to discover another door, but this door is totally impervious to the method used to open the last door. Every level you ascend, the next door will adapt to your methods, and become harder and harder to breach. You'll never be able to use the same method twice. It's your job to make it as far up the Evolving Fortress as possible.

So how it works is that someone posts how they're going to break down the door. Then the OP (me in this case) responds with a post about how the next door has evolved to make it impossible to do it again.

Example:

Person 1: "I lockpick the door."
OP: "You successfully pick the lock, but the door to Floor 2 is barricaded from the other side."
Person 2: "I kick the door down."
OP: "The weak wooden door gives way, but the door to Floor 3 is reinforced with metal and barricaded from the other side."

And so on and so forth. If it gets too crazy, I'll start to put the responses behind a [hide].

So yeah, that's about it. We'll start at Floor 3 with a reinforced barricaded door that can't be kicked down or lockpicked. Have fun!
June 21, 2017 11:39pm
I blowtorch the door open.
In a world of war and conflict, an extermination throws the last great bastion of peace into aggression. In the midst of this, a child sorcerer seeks justice for his fallen home. A repentant assassin and a messenger of the future rush to save their last refuge from destruction. The dead return, backed by a forgotten god. Ideals clash. Morals crumble. And it will not end until one half of the world stands in the ashes of the other.
June 22, 2017 8:49am
The hot jet of flame cuts the door open, but the door to Floor 4 is coated in asbestos, reinforced with metal, and barricaded from the other side.
June 22, 2017 9:04am
I mix fuel, metal oxide and metal powder in just the right way so it burns at 2000 degrees Celsius. Then I throw some C4 into the mix for one hell of a combination.
June 22, 2017 11:36am
The door is breached. Unfortunately, besides being coated in asbestos, reinforced with metal, and barricaded from the other side, the door to Floor 5 is made in America and does not know how to calculate temperature in Celsius.
June 22, 2017 11:39am
I appeal to this American door's sense of patriotism by bringing in a parade of floats and giant balloon bald eagles, and the door, moved by its pride, opens so as to not obstruct the parade.

June 22, 2017 11:43am
The door sheds a single tear and salutes the parade as it opens as wide as its hinges will allow. However, in spite of its patriotism, the asbestos-coated, reinforced, barricaded, all-American door to Floor 6 is exceptionally lazy, and can't be bothered to step out of the way for a parade.
June 22, 2017 11:44am
I mix fuel, metal oxide and metal powder in just the right way so it burns at 3632 degrees Fahrenheit. Then I throw some C4 into the mix for one hell of a combination.
June 22, 2017 11:47am
The lazy door thanks you profusely for the translation, as this means it will not have to do the math itself. It opens to allow you through, but the door to Floor 7 is completely illiterate, and has no idea what temperature means. It's also exceptionally lazy, made in America, coated in asbestos, reinforced with metal, and barricaded from the other side.
June 22, 2017 11:55am
I whip out my portable chalkboard & chalk (in assorted colors) and teach the door its letters. though it takes time and patience eventually the door to floor 7 has mastered the alphabet, basic vocabulary, and some rules of grammar and style. I write out the sentence "let me through, please." in careful block lettering, and the door, delighted with its ability to comprehend my request, opens proudly to show it understood.

((also note, I didn't teach it about numbers so the temperature thing still stands))
..am I doing this wrong....
June 22, 2017 12:04pm
The door opens for you, though seems a bit distracted by its struggle to read today's newspaper, as despite its newfound abilities, it doesn't seem to be able to comprehend the weather forecast. The door to Floor 8 however, is not only just as illiterate as its predecessor, but is also a kindergarten dropout, and has no desire whatsoever to learn its ABC's. It's also exceptionally lazy, made in America, coated in asbestos, reinforced with metal, and barricaded from the other side.

(Nope, you're doing it exactly right! You don't necessarily have to appeal to each individual door's weaknesses, you can find any way through that hasn't already been used. Though if you want to keep doing that, you're more than welcome to.)
June 22, 2017 12:05pm
Finding it odd that the door's hinges are facing me, I oil them up, slide them off, and move the door aside. I then walk through the frame.

June 22, 2017 12:09pm
The door curses your cleverness as you lift it off the frame and pass by unhindered. The door to Floor 9 seems to have caught on to your tricks however, because as well as being a kindergarten dropout, exceptionally lazy, made in America, coated in asbestos, reinforced with metal, and barricaded from the other side, the door now swings inwards, and as such the hinges are unreachable from the outside.
June 22, 2017 12:13pm
I knock on the door and politely ask for whomever is on the other side to please let me pass.
June 22, 2017 12:28pm
The door creaks open, and an old butler in a tuxedo welcomes you inside. He introduces himself as Montgomery Hillingham and requests that you join him for tea. Despite your claims that you're in a hurry, he insists, and you finally comply. Over tea, he tells a long story regarding the history of the Evolving Fortress and the ancient civilization who built it. He goes on for hours, and although you don't want to be rude, the story is beginning to bore you to sleep. The tea is also kind of terrible.

Finally, after several hours of exposition, he finishes the story and sends you on your way. On your way out of the room, you ask if there's anyone else in the upper floors. He says no, but he cleans them all every day, and he could be in any one of them at any given time. You thank him for this information and hurry on your way. He was a pleasant man, but you're regretting ever asking him to open the door.

The door to Floor 10 seems identical to the one on Floor 9, having hinges that swing inwards, being an exceptionally lazy kindergarten dropout, made in America, coated in asbestos, reinforced with metal and barricaded from the other side. However, you now know that Montgomery Hillingham could be behind any one of the doors you approach, and it would be better to never knock on one again.
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