Claymore's Legends: Part 1



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Claymore's Legends: Part 1
AaronGray October 7, 2014 at 1:25am
© AaronGray 2014-2022
Okay, I'm going to submit the chapters that I'm done writing by parts... So this will only be the REAL Prologue and Chapter 1.... Read the comment here for the DISCLAIMER...

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Comments

Sparkleafexc
Heart 
October 18, 2014 at 12:12am
Some neat ideas here, the spirit Pokemon is a particularly fascinating one--the part where Lynn's thinking about what her spirit Pokemon might be, that helps particularly. I assume her dad was in the military, fitting with Watchog's scout-like theme?

All I'd have to advise is that Jax might need a little more development in the coming chapters :o Aside from his interactions with his sister, I don't have a strong feel for his personality.
AaronGray
Heart 
October 18, 2014 at 12:18am
Okay... I know, I'm still experimenting some drafts on how Jax must be in the next parts... other than that, thanks for the advice/comment.
RobotCat
Heart 
October 7, 2014 at 5:09pm
Good story! I like it. Minor spelling errors, but it was still good.
AaronGray
Heart 
October 8, 2014 at 3:16am
Thanks I know... hopefully, the next ones are going to be in spelled correctly...
RobotCat
Heart 
October 8, 2014 at 6:21am
Hey, don't sweat it. It's not the spelling that counts, it's the actual storyline, which I think is great so far. uwu
AaronGray
Heart 
October 7, 2014 at 1:52am
Okay... just in case...

Lynn and Jaxal came from Charlotte and Kanto respectively... And I don't own Pokemon...
Kanto_the_Zoroark
Heart 
October 7, 2014 at 4:18am
Ok, so, in the part of Lynn's perspective, it's about Lynn meeting his guide, and the top part, it's about Jaxal having a dream then going to the cave? I'm just trying to clear it up, I got a little confoosed.
AaronGray
Heart 
October 7, 2014 at 6:18am
I know it's confusing... and no, the prologue isn't about Jax and I forgot to clarify.... Lynn is a girl....
Kanto_the_Zoroark
Heart 
October 7, 2014 at 6:19am
Oh. Well, I am liking it so far, and who had the dream in the prologue?

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Submitted Oct 7, 2014
Last Edited Oct 12, 2014
Size 13 KiB
Characters 13022
Words 2200
Sentences 277
Paragraphs 216

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