this is a form of writing called asemic writing
asemic writing is kinda like a mix of writing and art. basically, its words that arent meant to be decipherable. like just look up asemic writing, its kind of a low-key thing, not very many people do it. one example would be the infamous Voynich Manuscript. i stumbled across asemic yesterday while researching for my book, and it intrigued the HECK out of me. ive always loved language, communication, codes, mysteries... asemic combines all of those. this was one of the articles i read, and the dudes story is REALLY similar to my own, like as i was reading it i was like uhh same wtf
so last night i decided to try my own asemic (i would have uploaded that one, but i tossed it lol). i was listening to this song when i began. i just vomited a stream of conciousness onto the page (funnily enough, i actually had to fight a little bit against my basic instinct to write actual symbols). the asemic shifted with the song, when the song picked up the asemic was more frantic, thicker lines and more strokes, etc.
it was wild, ive literally never done something so cathartic. see, writing is okay for me but im a perfectionist. and art legit triggers the hell outta me. asemic is like, the perfect thing for me. an outlet of pure thoughts/feelings, and that strangely calming/comforting feeling when you look back on it and you cant understand shit. its like, the introspective part fades into the background, and youre left with strange art with a meaning only you know, only vaguely, until that fades away.
#1 i wrote this morning and then uploaded immediately. this was during school (the aide asked me if i was having a manic episode lol, but thats a negatory. it just SEEMS like im manic. and i will admit, i did something similar to this in one of my worse manic episodes, but thats also why this appeals to me... like, doing something that could be perceived as manic, but im in a good state of mind, and i have the power as opposed to the mania). i explained to her basically what i wrote here. im not sure if she was convinced or not haha. now, even tho i only wrote this about 30mins ago, i have no idea what it means. which is good. i know when i was writing it, i wrote snippets of thoughts troubling me this morning. cause this morning started great, then got sad, and then got all mixed up. i know one snippet is about my friend who isnt here today and is having a really bad day. the colored bits at the end were after i explained to the aide.
but yeah... like i said, ive never experienced this kind of catharsis before (i just wish it didnt look so... for lack of a better term, crazy). FeelsBadMan having to convice people youre ok hahahh. but im gonna keep on asemic writing, i love it strange as it may be!