RouteSaga Episode 37: Who Killed Mr. Barnier? Part 2

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The death of Navarr Tethyr Barnier spread like wildfire. The very next morning, The Evening Apricorn, the Route 50 Gazette, and the Blackglasses Bulletin all simultaneously printed sensational, headline articles on the veteran's murder, accompanied by colorful photos of the investigators and the mansion.

"Extra! Extra! Navarr finally done in!" called out Lexideth to the passerby, freshly printed issues of the Route 50 Gazette hanging from Akwardphobicsmileyabsol's rainbow tails like leaves on a tree's branches. Both of their eyes were bright as Rt50ites took issue after issue from her tails. "Investigation reports found on page 8!"

"Miguel, I think we need to hire some more paper boys," said Coolio as she and Miguel passed out more Route 50 Gazette issues across the street from Lexideth and Apsa. "Lexideth is a fine worker, but she's just one person. It seems kind of silly for us to be distributing the papers, especially when we're the top-level management!"

By the end of the week, the news story had circulated on HiphopHoppip Happenings, The Fexxy Show, and RouteBC News. Various stand-up comedians joined in shortly afterwards. Barely a day went by without the chat lobby buzzing excitedly, at some point in time during the day, about Navarr's death and the six suspects.

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The investigators were not nearly half as eager about the case, however. While the average member of Route 50 could easily and guiltlessly identify Navarr's killer without the slightest bit of proof, the team knew their conclusions might well have the weight of execution behind them.

"Let's start with what we know about Navarr and each of the suspects," said Xetaja as the six investigators gathered around a table. "First of all: The six suspects are Maestra, Frosti, Grov, Nechaken, DarkPegusus, and Twill."

"Yoiu mean, the six suspects are Miss Scarlet, Mrs. Peacock, Mr. Green, Mrs. White, Colonel Mustard, and Professor Plum," corrected Shadowsleuth.

"Whatever," said Xetaja, waving him aside. "Now, I hate to put Frosti and Twill on there, given their status as fellow staffers, but we'll do what we've got to do." Exchanging glances, Kstan and Sparkleaf nodded reluctantly.

"Now let's start with DarkPegusus," said the administrator. "Although he is well-known as a kind, generous boy, DP happens to be one of Navarr's largest beneficiaries. He was set-- no, is set-- to recieve a large sum of inheritance. It is possible he killed Navarr, as he does have a wide variety of weapons."

Startled, Sky and MV exchanged glances, surprised to hear this. "I think I know how my sword got in Navarr's mansion," said Sparkleaf. "You see, I keep that sword in my tool shack, which is located outside. I once gave DP the code to the combination lock on that shed."

Xetaja looked at Sparkleaf, looking thoroughly amused. "That's... absolutely wonderful, son," said the administrator dryly. "You keep your birthright gift from me in a gardening shed?" The kitsune grimaced and fell silent; Kstan hid a giggle behind a hand.

"Now... Grov dislikes Navarr for reasons that will remain undisclosed," continued Xetaja. "While she did not draft the petition to remove Navarr from office, she was one of the fourty-seven Rt50ites who signed it. Due to 'bad blood', shall we say, she may have killed him."

There was an uneasy murmuring around the table, and Xeta quickly moved on. "Like DarkPegusus, Frosti is one of Navarr's beneficiaries, but is generally sweet and kind," said the admin. "However, she... uh... does have several interesting statements on record. Namely, 'taking over the world with Furrets'. So, perhaps she's not quite so innocent as she seems?"

The investigators tittered, except for Shadowsleuth, who gave a knowing nod. "Now Maestra is an interesting case," said Xetaja. ".Apparently... there's a rumor floating around that she was caught by Navarr trying to smuggle in... aah... about 46,000 gallons of soul elixir. And for whatever reason, he decided to blackmail her instead of bringing her to justice. If this story is true, the blackmail continued even after Navarr was demoted."

"I daresay that if this story is true, Miss Scarlet had quite an understandable reason to kill Mr. Navarr," remarked Shadowsleuth, drumming his fingers against the table. Kstan, SkyWarrior, and MysteriousVaporeon all glared at him; the detective himself had come up with the blackmail theory about fifteen minutes ago.

"Nechaken... is the only one for whom we can find no real motive," admitted the administrator. "But she does have a track record of kills as a sniper. When she was patted down, officers found an assassin ID card in her wallet. It is entirely possible that she was hired to kill Navarr."

"Now, like Grov, Twill is also a known hater of Navarr," said Xetaja. "He has been known to utilize risky teleportation spells to antagonize him. Given that he, like DP, possesses a large variety of weapons-- he may have indeed killed Navarr."

"Or, it was another water-loving creature who hates Navarr," suggested Kstan brightly. "Who do we know that also possesses a large variety of weapons, and has been trolled by Navarr to the brink of insanity?"

At once, the entire table all turned to look at MysteriousVaporeon. "Oh come on, you guys!" griped the cyborg. "There wouldn't be any body left if I had killed him. It'd be a pile of ashes. I swear I didn't kill him..."

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"This is definitely Sparky's Glock," said Kat, holding the handgun up to the light, squinting up at a tiny embossed barcode on the gun's surface. "Sorry Shady, this is no revolver, this came straight from the staff armory. Though Sparky does have a pair of revolvers, too."

"I still don't see how this is a weapon in any way, shape, or form," said SkyWarrior, holding up Frosti's blue scarf with her tails, thoroughly confused. "I mean... just feel it guys, it's so dang soft. I swear it's made of pure ****ing magic."

"Hey guys, look at this," said MysteriousVaporeon as he held the bong with his forepaws. He tilted the long smoking pipe so as to catch the light, allowing them all to see the initials "DP" inscribed on its side. "Do you think this is his?"

"I said no, Sparklein," said Xetaja sternly, one hand on Sparkleaf's shoulder to keep him back as she held the kitsune's jian under an ultraviolet scanner. "We need to figure out whose blood and whose fingerprints are on this sword."

The six suspects agreed to be questioned, provided that they could return home later that night. Xetaja warned them that they would be placed on probation until further notice, and thus required to carry tracking devices wherever they went. "Oh, one more thing," called Xetaja as Shadowsleuth was about to enter Interrogation Room #4. "It's probably best if Shadowsleuth not do any interrogation."

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Shadowsleuth lifted his head the other investigators emerged from the screening rooms, all looking thoroughly exhausted (except Xetaja, who never showed any emotions). "Ehh? Any new leads?" asked the detective blearily, adjusting his fedora, glancing around. "Hmm. You guys look sleepy."

"Yeah, well, not everyone falls asleep as fast as you do, Mr. Shadowsleuth," yawned Kat as they sat down around the table. "So... what did everyone else find out?" One by one, the six investigators shared what they'd learned from the suspects. All the while, Shadowsleuth listened carefully, his eyes narrowing.

"Wait a minute," interrupted Kat, frowning at Xetaja. "Did you just say he was doing private investigations on the Thorned Rose syndicate? The same ones that burned down Max's bar? He's looking into them without my permission?"

Sparkleaf's eye twitched. "I think I ought to do some hunting of my own," said the kitsune, leaning forward on the table, fur bristling. "Where's his laptop? We ought to check up on his files."

Kat sighed. "Rein it in, Sparkles," said the administrator, placing her head in her hands. The others exchanged glances around the table. "And no. Navarr's laptop wasn't recovered."

The investigators were quiet for a while; then MysteriousVaporeon broke the silence. "All right, so who did it?" asked the cyborg, glancing at Shadowsleuth. "I'm sure you've got some idea who the culprit is, now. Right?"

Shadowsleuth considered the Vaporeon's words for a moment. "Someone get me a shell; I think I need to look up what 'plate' means," said the detective, leaned back in his chair, tilting his fedora over his eyes. Sparkleaf frowned. "It's that thing that you put letters in, right?"

"No," moaned Sky, banging her head on the table repeatedly.

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At the intersection of 14th Street and Comma Avenue, the air filled with the rumble of cars and bicycles rushing past the cyborg Vaporeon on the corner. "That's a nice car," commented a voice from behind MV. "My grandmother always had a thing for red Ferraris."

Eyes flashing, MysteriousVaporeon glanced back to see Shadowsleuth leaning against a wall. "You're kidding, right," said the Vaporeon, his steel tail swaying as he followed the detective's gaze to a tan box-like station wagon parked nearby. "Have you ever seen a Ferrari?"

"No, but I know that the first member of the Trifecta of Evil dislikes Ferraris," replied Shadowsleuth, ever-so-subtly headbopping to the music from his headphones, hands in the pockets of his suit jacket. "So it is wise for you to stay near one."

That caught MV's attention. "Trfecta of Evil?" echoed the warrior as he turned completely around, intrigued, studying the private eye carefully. "What's that? Are they some sort of evil organization? A triumvirate of crime lords?"

Shadowsleuth gazed back at him, thoroughly amused. "Crime lord triumvirate? Oh, no, nothing like that," replied the young man, reaching into his pocket for a small pipe. "They're the epitome of the Devil, I assure you-- Michael, Sam, and Michael."

"Dude, that's not cool," said a voice from behind Shadowsleuth and MysteriousVaporeon, who both turned around to see Pope loping up the sidewalk towards them. "MY name's Michael, I swear I'm not the devil. In fact, my name is about as far from the Devil as humanly possib--"

"Unfortunately, you cannot be Michael, because you have no horns or flaming tail," replied Shadowsleuth, tilting his fedora low over his eyes. "You have white hair that is slicked upwards like a bishop's miter, suggesting some affilation with clergy, and the tag on the back of your sweatshirt reads 'Made in Ireland', which all people know is Catholic. Therefore, you are linked to the leader of the Catholic Church, better known as the--" He coughed, took out his pipe, and put it away. "--the Dalai Lama."

Pope and MysteriousVaporeon exchanged glances, then stared at the grinning detective. "Ri-i-ight," said Pope slowly as he reached into a pocket for his keys, stepping towards his car. "I think I'm gonna go..."

"Now, now, I'm sure you have some sort of proof of identification, Mr. Dalai," said Shadowsleuth with a wink, striding over as Pope unlocked the car door. "Let's see just what's in your car in the first place, shall we?"

Alarmed, the Rt50ite scrambled to stop Shadowsleuth as as the private eye tried to reach around the car's interior. "Dude- get out of my car!" yelled Pope as he struggled to push the detective's hands out and away from his car. "Stop-- friggin' stop--"

An empty box of muffin crumbs, a few empty soda cans, some blue lint, and several empty Gorillaz CD cases tumbled out from the driver's seat. "Aha!" crowed Shadowsleuth, picking up one of the cases. "See the dingy look in their eyes? That, good sir, is a sign of enlightenment--"

MV's eyes narrowed as he padded over to one of the empty soda cans. "''Kern carbonated soda, peach flavoring,'" he read aloud. Scanning the debris, MysteriousVaporeon noticed an iPhone cover laying on the asphalt, colored a translucent glittery blue. "Pope. Did you drive Frosti that night when Navs died?"

"Uhh yes, I did," said the elder boy as he hurriedly scooped up the cans and the other objects that had fallen out of his car. "Her car was in the shop that day, so I offered to drive her to and from Nav's place. Gotta go!"

Yanking the Gorillaz CD box out of Shadowsleuth's hands, Pope climbed back into his car, slammed the door shut, started up the engine, and drove off down the street. "He is rather upset today, that Dalai Lama," commented Shadowsleuth, brushing the dust off his suit jacket and reaching down for a blue lint ball that Pope had missed.

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The polished mahogany door swung open, and Xetaja entered Kat's office, clutching a sheet of paper. "The forensics reports are complete, Kat," reported the executioner as she approached the webmistress' desk. "It seems most of the red stains on the furniture in the Lounge weren't blood."

Glancing up from her mug of Pepsi, Kat gave Xetaja a quizzical look, then took the sheet from her to examine it closely. "What the hell is 'polyethenylcyclohexatriene?'" muttered the webmistress, squinting. "Xet, I can't make heads or tails of this paper, it's all in gibberish. Look at this one: Ka-re-ni-a bre-visss. Ugh. Did Shadowsleuth write this?"

"Actually, MV and Sky compiled this report," said Xetaja calmly, taking a seat across from Kat, as if her blindfolded eyes were trained on her friend. "That's not to say either of them knew exactly what they were writing. On the back side is Kstan's report from the morgue."

The webmistress' eyes narrowed as she scanned the sheet. "I think they knew what they were writing, all right," said Kat slowly, staring at the report. "Look at how detailed all of this is. Too bad it's all gibberish, eh?"

"Amen," agreed Xetaja, pointing to a line near the bottom. "We also have forensics on the weapons. For whatever reason, both the blood and the fingerprints on Sparkleaf's sword belonged to DP. There were no fingerprints or DNA traces on the Glock, the bong, or the screwdriver. DNA traces on the bookgun include Maestra and SkyWarrior. DNA traces on Frosti's scarf include Nechaken, Frosti, and for whatever reason, also Pope."

"Ah, whatever, he didn't do it," said Kat, waving her hand dismissively. "Now back to the chemical list and all its bizzare, made-up words! Just listen to them. Poh-tah-see-um die-crow-mayte. Pentahydroxyhexanal. Sodium penathol..."

There was silence, then Kat smacked the desk. "Okay, got it. Navarr must've been trying to create some sort of truth drug. And somehow... the drug splashed all over the furniture. And then Navarr died somehow." She massaged her forehead and flipped the sheet over. "Right, let's go back to whatever killed him in the first place."

Xetaja grimaced as the webmistress read aloud the long list of Navarr's injuries. "A bullet wound to his left shoulder. A ring of bruises around his neck. Bloody contusion to the right temple. Three broken ribs, numerous gashes across his back. Some sort of puncture wound to the chest. The coroner said it was swollen when the body arrived..."

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The 31st of October came and went. It took all of twenty-two hours for the media to lose interest in the attacks by the Fallen and shift their attention back to Navarr's murder. None of the Fallen's victims had died, after all; Navarr had effectively died a double death.

There were two types of death: the easily reversible "KO status", and the more severe "physical death". It was extremely rare for a victim to suffer physical death, even from trained killers such as MysteriousVaporeon and DarkPegusus, or the likes of Eeveebot and her terrible minions.

Shockingly enough, Navarr had achieved physical death. Regardless of his controversial actions in the past, the mystery behind Navarr's death chilled the staff, and many were turning to supernatural explanations. "Kstan, report," spoke Kat's voice through Kstan's wristcom. "Could the Fallen have killed Navarr?"

"No chance," replied Kstan without hesitation. She remembered staring down at Navarr's frozen body in its cute little glass case at the Shioko City morgue, alone in the room except for a Flaaffy coroner "His body didn't have the soul burns that the Fallen's victims had, for one thing. Besides... don't you think Frosti, Twill, or Grov would've recognized it?"

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In the hospital, Xetaja sat down next to Grov's bed with a clipboard and a pen. "Gro, you said that you were all called in for investigations," said the executive. Grov nodded. "We found a potted plant given to Navarr... Was it a gift?"

Grov shrugged. "Like I told you, it wasn't that sort of party, Xet," said the girl, staring off into the distance. "If it were up to me... I'd have never gone near there at all."

"Tell us what happened between you and him, then," said the executive, nodding.

Grov closed her eyes. "Well... I got tired of the party, so I went to check out his greenhouse, to be alone and stuff," said the girl with a small but dark smile. "They say he doesn't take good care of his carnations... If you wanna arrest me for plucking a carnation, go ahead."

"A flower's a flower," said the executive indifferently, jotting down a single note. "Go on?"

"But then, well... then he cornered me in there, to interrogate me," said Grov, scowling. "And I got pissed because he wouldn't leave me alone. So... well... I threw a potted plant or two at him."

Xetaja froze. "You did what?"

Grov smiled weakly up at Xetaja. "He was... getting too close to me, again," said the girl, looking down the length of her hospital blanket. "He said things... things I don't want to repeat. But the pots didn't kill him, I swear."

The executive stared at her through her blindfold, growing suspicious. "Ma'am, I swear, I wouldn't kill him if my life depended on it," said Grov, And the pots never even hit him. They just hit all around him. I made sure of that."

"Really, now," said Xetaja, scribbling notes on her clipboard rapidly, her hand growing more intense. "Was the window broken when you two had your... fight?"

Grov blinked. "It might've been a little cracked," said the girl,chuckling softly. "I don't remember, exactly. Why, is did someone break the window?"

Growing more suspicious, Xetaja stared at her. "And you really didn't give him a potted plant, then," said the executive, her pent motionless. "And it wasn't bought from Pokey's Flowers."

"Fuck no," laughed Grov weakly. "Pokey's Flowers is on the opposite side of town from my house. And they're overpriced. Anyway... hope that helps, ma'am." She rolled over onto her back, one hand fumbling for a control so that she could sit up. "You know, Xets? That Shadowsleuth fellow, he's a real gem..."

Shadowsleuth? Was Shadowsleuth the culprit? "Do explain," said Xetaja.

Grov handed Xetaja one of the get-well cards on her nightstand. "Here," said the girl as the executive took the card from her. The card read: "From one detective to another. Best wishes, Shadowsleuth." And under it... a picture of two sharks in a freeding frenzy.

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One floor above, Shadowsleuth entered another hospital ward with a similar clipboard. "Hello, Professor Plum," said the detective as he took a seat by Twill's bed. "Are you doing well today?"

Rubbing his forehead, Twill slowly sat up to stare at Shadowsleuth. "That's not my real name," said the Twilcario. "My name is--"

"Yes, yes, I know, your real name is Twill, or something," said Shadowsleuth, jotting down a note that read: 'Still believes that his name is Twill.'

Twill massaged his elbow, trying to smile but failing. "I- I wish you wouldn't do that," said the moderator. "It kinda unnerves me..."

Shadowslueth smiled and lowered his headphones, letting them rest on his shoulders. "That's the whole point, of course."

"Mmkay," said Twill slowly, not sure what to make of this. "Is that why Sparks puts up with you?"

"Me? Oh, no," said the detective. "He puts up with me, because I live in a dictionary." Twill frowned at him. "You know. Like a hermit crab."

The moderator stared down at his lap, confused. "Now, about this person," said Shadowsleuth, tapping his clipboard. "His name was... Navarr?"

Twill nodded. "Ya. What about him?"

"This is what I've heard so far," said the detective. "I heard that you and Mr. Green-- erm, what do you call him?-- you and Grov did not like him. Correct?'

"A lot of people didn't like him, Mr. Sleuth," said Twill, wondering if he should be playing the name game too. Shadowsleuth was neither impressed nor annoyed. "He was... a bit of a jerk."

"Really now," said Shadowsleuth, his eyes narrowing, leaning in to listen. "Tell me more..."

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#IcedPineappleShop

A bell rang as MysteriousVaporeon entered the Iced Pineapple Fountain Shop in human form. He wore a gray shirt with green sleeves and dark leggings, and he had a sword on his back. Like always, his face was obscured with his half-moon mask.

"Myste, hello!" greeted Aurore from the counter, smiling sweetly at the volunteer investigator. "Can I get you anything?"

At the table in the corner, Frosti glanced up from her glass of peach soda. "No thanks," said MV, eyes scanning the room, his exposed half-mouth a scowl. "I'm here to see Frosti."

Frosti smiled slyly as MV joined her table, Aurore lookign disappointed. "So, Myste, you found me," said the artist, her fingers drumming against the table. "Are you here to apologize, or to interrogate?"

"Apologize? Why would I apologize?" demanded MV.

Frosti prodded him. "I got attacked in AngelicUmbreon's laboratory, buddy-boy," said the girl, her voice low. "And where were you? Shouldn't you have been, y'know, protecting your girlfriend's house? If I were her, I'd make you sleep on the couch for a month."

MysteriousVaporeon gave her a long, furious glare. "Well, you know what?" said the boy, slapping the table. "I know that you were in the Billiards Room on the night that Navarr died."

"Oh, really now," said Frosti, leaning back in her seat, amused.

MysteriousVaporeon took a paper out of his pocket. "The receipt on the back of the UMvC3 box was yours," said MV. "You signed it 'rainbowponcho'."

She couldn't help but grin at the way he pronounced her alias. "Your point being?" said Frosti. "It's not illegal to buy a game, you know."

"No, but Sparks' friend taught me how to be a detective," said MysteriousVaporeon. "Wanna hear what else I figured out?"

Frosti's grin widened. "This should be good," said the girl. "Shoot away."

Long silence. "Uhhh... your scarf is blue," said MysteriousVaporeon slowly. "That means... uhhhh... you like things that are blue. And... what else is blue? That... that plate we couldn't find!"

"And this means I killed Navarr, how, exactly?" said Frosti, draining her glass.

MV looked more uncertain. "It means... um... something," said MV, his eyes shifting, trying to sound as if he knew what he was talking about. "It means... uhhh... It means that YOU HAVE THAT PLATE!"

Frosti and Aurore exchanged glances, then started giggling madly until MV hit the table again in anger. "Good one, Myste! I haven't had a good laugh in a while," said Frosti, still snickering. "Next time, wear a fedora, k?"

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The doors flew open, and five investigators glanced up sharply as Shadowsleuth entered the break room, looking thoroughly pleased. "I've figured it out," said the detective calmly, tilting his fedora over his eyes.

SkyWarrior, MysteriousVaporeon, and Sparkleaf all exchanged stunned glances. After nearly two months of headwracking and endless frustration, had the private eye finally cracked the mystery behind Navarr's death? "How did you figure it out?" asked Xetaja calmly from the head of the table.

Shadowsleuth grinned and reached into his pocket, setting down a small white object on the table, looking thoroughly amused. "I discovered this inside a lint ball that fell out of Pope's car, about five weeks ago," said the detective as he took a seat at the table. "At first, I didn't understand why it was relevant. But slowly, the picture became clear, and now everything's clicked into place."

The object was a cue ball.

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